Sedentary Sweetheart Pillows

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

Red Letter Days - A declaration of love in public

"I love you, you big fool."

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"Chair looks couch potato friendly!"

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

Hold those deer to you near to you this Christmas.

'Too long at his desk...we're going need surgery to cut him free.'

'I try and humour him...it's the only exercise he gets!'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

"Sometimes Ben does very dumb things. I love that in him."

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

Use it or lose it.

'American, idle.'

'Hmm...Sofa sores. This is becoming increasingly common in fat blokes.'

"Obsessive complacent disorder"

'That Al Gore is so patronizing!'

"Just back from lunch . . . I needed to stretch my legs."

"Do you have any reading material that doesn't mock the sedentary life?"

Reality television programme - showing infinite regression

"Just shoot me if I ever take up power walking."

"So, let's see what your fitness band says today."

Dressing up

"I can't tell if you're at work or at home."

"Whay do they think about all day?"

Modern Childhood

"It seems like everything these days is new and improved. . . except you."

'It's repetitive strain injury - try using the thumb on your other hand for the television remote.'

"He can't come to to the phone - he's sleeping the sleep of the just-can't-be-bothered."