Sedentary Lifestyle Lovers Pillows

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"Chair looks couch potato friendly!"

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

'I try and humour him...it's the only exercise he gets!'

'Too long at his desk...we're going need surgery to cut him free.'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

Sleep. The magazine for people who are asleep.

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

"Let me guess. You had it up to here with the world of business, so you packed it all in and started your own winery."

"Remember me? I'm your running shoes. Remember what running is?"

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

The Sedentary Dead.

Use it or lose it.

'American, idle.'

"Believing life begins at 40, Dave decided to take it easy for the first 39."

'Its part of our new range of inactive wear.'

'Hmm...Sofa sores. This is becoming increasingly common in fat blokes.'

"Just back from lunch . . . I needed to stretch my legs."

"Obsessive complacent disorder"

"When I was small, I used to be so busy. I was always running here and rushing there. Go, go, go. That was me. Now I just ride my bike or sit around watching mindless junk on TV. My life just keeps getting better and better all the time."

Reality television programme - showing infinite regression

Man fishing with rod with multiple lines.

"So, let's see what your fitness band says today."

Modern Childhood

"Whay do they think about all day?"

"I can't tell if you're at work or at home."

"Will I be able to carry on not doing any exercise?"

"I'm not sure that lifting the remote control is what they meant by 'taking exercise'!"