Slow-paced Sweetheart Pillows

"Just shoot me if I ever take up power walking."

Speed Dating for Turtles

"I love you, you big fool."

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

"Wheeeeeeeeeee!"

'I'm looking for something that says 'I love you' without getting too personal.'

"Sometimes Ben does very dumb things. I love that in him."

"I've got buck teeth, an overbite, big ears, pink eye, a harelip, and I live in a hole. She must love me!"

'I can't believe you only lasted 3 days, 9 hours and 56 minutes.'

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

"Frankly, I could move a lot faster, but the truth is that I lack motivation..."

How you can tell you're in a committed relationship...

"One day junior, all this will be yours..."

Granny takes a turtle for a walk.

"I don't want to rush things. Instead of hugging, why don't we just hold hands?"

"I've always worked from home."

"Time travel will never happen. You'd have to be able to travel faster than the speed of a tortoise for it to be possible."

"When I was small, I used to be so busy. I was always running here and rushing there. Go, go, go. That was me. Now I just ride my bike or sit around watching mindless junk on TV. My life just keeps getting better and better all the time."

'Better slow it down a bit.'

'On your mark...'

Snail hitching a lift to the other side of the garden from a tortoise

"Thank goodness speed bumps were finally put in. They drive like maniacs around here!"

"Our blind dates have spotted us, but it's going to be a while before we reach them: try to stay nonchalant all the way though..."

"They look pretty angry Bob! We should consider letting them play through..."

'No, I'm sorry, he didn't leave a forwarding address.'

'It's the final lap, Jerry! He looks tired! ooze around him! ooze around him!'

A Snail follows directions.

Mr. Sloth #3; Bathroom Break. What are you doing in there, reading War and Peace?

You know what I hate? Late fees.

"Urgent, you say? OK, meet you at the patio in two days."

'Okay, I'll be your Valentine, but don't get any funny ideas.'

"Get ready to run."

"And this time, guys, no false starts."

Self-Conscious Girl