Slow Pace Lover Pillows

'Better slow it down a bit.'

Speed Dating for Turtles

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

"Wheeeeeeeeeee!"

"Sorry, but your life moves so slowly that the ball keeps timing out."

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

'I can't believe you only lasted 3 days, 9 hours and 56 minutes.'

Granny takes a turtle for a walk.

"Anyone home?"

Boris Bike

"Giddyup!. . . Damn. I think I just wasted 500 bucks."

"One day junior, all this will be yours..."

I wanna find out about your let to buy options!

It's The Highway For People Who Hate To Drive

"Time travel will never happen. You'd have to be able to travel faster than the speed of a tortoise for it to be possible."

"I've always worked from home."

"When I was small, I used to be so busy. I was always running here and rushing there. Go, go, go. That was me. Now I just ride my bike or sit around watching mindless junk on TV. My life just keeps getting better and better all the time."

"I was involved in an awful accident, and was in a coma for three weeks. Half my life flashed before me!"

'...and that concludes this five-hour seminar on 'slow life'.'

'It's an interesting effect: I tend to walk faster when I'm listening to Rock & Roll...'

It's an anti-tipping device, I thought of it while watching Drag-Racing on TV...

"Just shoot me if I ever take up power walking."

"When life gets too hectic, I just like to stop, smell the roses, and write checks."

"Easy does it, Ralph."

"Our blind dates have spotted us, but it's going to be a while before we reach them: try to stay nonchalant all the way though..."

Snail hitching a lift to the other side of the garden from a tortoise

I'd join you, but this dratted self-timer only waits for ten seconds!

Who you don't want to get stuck behind in summer traffic.

I wasn't screening my calls! I just can't make it to the phone before the machine picks up!

'On your mark...'

"They look pretty angry Bob! We should consider letting them play through..."

'Raymond, you're moving too fast for me!'

'Oh, brother. We're right behind the Women's 85-and-Older-With_walkers League.'

A Snail follows directions.

'No, I'm sorry, he didn't leave a forwarding address.'