Sedentary Life Sympathizer Pillows

"Just back from lunch . . . I needed to stretch my legs."

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

"Chair looks couch potato friendly!"

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

'I try and humour him...it's the only exercise he gets!'

'Too long at his desk...we're going need surgery to cut him free.'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

We never fly anywhere anymore.

No need for you to read this. You seem to have got it to a fine art.

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

"Remember me? I'm your running shoes. Remember what running is?"

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

"Sure I'm impressed...but it's three weeks old."

'Don't worry -- we'll have you up and around in five or six years!'

"If I ever feel that life's moving too fast, I just stand in the prescriptions queue..."

'Don't talk to me about joint-pain...'

'When did the world get into such a big hurry?'

Use it or lose it.

'American, idle.'

'Hmm...Sofa sores. This is becoming increasingly common in fat blokes.'

There once was a person who planted a seed

"It's father, doctor, he's creaking badly."

Reality television programme - showing infinite regression

"Do you have any reading material that doesn't mock the sedentary life?"

"Obsessive complacent disorder"

"So, let's see what your fitness band says today."

"I come with my own cubicle."

"It seems like everything these days is new and improved. . . except you."

"I'm not sure what that feels like."

"I'm not sure that lifting the remote control is what they meant by 'taking exercise'!"