Sedentary Life Sympathizer Pillows

"Just back from lunch . . . I needed to stretch my legs."

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

"Chair looks couch potato friendly!"

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

'Too long at his desk...we're going need surgery to cut him free.'

'I try and humour him...it's the only exercise he gets!'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

No need for you to read this. You seem to have got it to a fine art.

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

"Remember me? I'm your running shoes. Remember what running is?"

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

"If I ever feel that life's moving too fast, I just stand in the prescriptions queue..."

'Don't worry -- we'll have you up and around in five or six years!'

"Sure I'm impressed...but it's three weeks old."

'Don't talk to me about joint-pain...'

'When did the world get into such a big hurry?'

Use it or lose it.

'American, idle.'

There once was a person who planted a seed

'Hmm...Sofa sores. This is becoming increasingly common in fat blokes.'

Reality television programme - showing infinite regression

"It's father, doctor, he's creaking badly."

"Obsessive complacent disorder"

"Do you have any reading material that doesn't mock the sedentary life?"

"I come with my own cubicle."

"So, let's see what your fitness band says today."

"I can't tell if you're at work or at home."

"Whay do they think about all day?"

Modern Childhood

"I'm not sure what that feels like."