Sedentary Sympathizer Pillows

"Do you have any reading material that doesn't mock the sedentary life?"

'That's my late husband.'

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

"Chair looks couch potato friendly!"

Senior Jeopardy!

"They remove people who have become 'jammed in armchairs' due to COVID 19 lockdown!"

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

'Too long at his desk...we're going need surgery to cut him free.'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

No need for you to read this. You seem to have got it to a fine art.

'Prolonged sitting leads to death? What's up with that?'

'...at least it's done something for our image.'

'Geoffrey's Tourette's is acting up.'

'Don't talk to me about joint-pain...'

'How many calories do you burn by downloading apps?'

'Hmm...Sofa sores. This is becoming increasingly common in fat blokes.'

"Just back from lunch . . . I needed to stretch my legs."

"It's father, doctor, he's creaking badly."

Reality television programme - showing infinite regression

'I'm happy to say that both parties agree on the issue. It's got bi-partisan non-support.'

"Looks like a case of Death by Missed Adventure."

"I'm not sure what that feels like."

"He wanted to be buried how he lived his life."

"Only 200 steps? But I've been chasing a buck all day long!"

"It seems like everything these days is new and improved. . . except you."

"Brian says in 1976 we just got on with it."

"Will I be able to carry on not doing any exercise?"

"... I CAN'T be 'at risk for a heart attack,' I never exert myself!"

'It's repetitive strain injury - try using the thumb on your other hand for the television remote.'

'There it is again...that mysterious feeling that we're clipped from a newspaper and hung on someone's refrigerator.'

'Do I stay active? Just look at the callous on my thumb from using the remote control.'

'Some smokers still resent no smoking signs...'

'Spending less time with your HD TV will result in your having less HD cholesterol.'

'And then the jury decided that I was ready for a long term relationship with the penal code system.'