Sedentary Life Humorist Gifts

"I don't think that lifting the remote control counts as exercise!"

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"Chair looks couch potato friendly!"

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

Peter

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

"They remove people who have become 'jammed in armchairs' due to COVID 19 lockdown!"

'Too long at his desk...we're going need surgery to cut him free.'

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

We never fly anywhere anymore.

"On Monday, they will introduce a new office layout and you'll be near Judy, who isn't good at sharing her charger. . ."

'Prolonged sitting leads to death? What's up with that?'

'Sorry son, I bought you an ice-cream at the corner shop, but it melted on the way home...'

"When you are done exercising your finger, the cat would like to talk to you!"

"I can't right now. My spurs are stuck together."

Rocket charmer.

Use it or lose it.

'American, idle.'

"You don't need a prescription, Mr. Beesley - you need an iron...."

Castle with parking lot.

'The cows are out and are not expected back.'

Tedium

"Ahem, if you're planning to rob the place could you please get a move on."

'How many calories do you burn by downloading apps?'

"All I said was, 'I'll take out the garbage when I'm ready'."

Reality television programme - showing infinite regression

"Riley doesn't bark. He tweets."

"Just back from lunch . . . I needed to stretch my legs."

"Looks like a case of Death by Missed Adventure."

"Obsessive complacent disorder"

"He's busy cross-training. He's drinking with his left hand."

"I'm sorry, but your last still life said you were constantly fidgeting, texting and sighing loudly!"