Security Work Pillows

"Bob's daily nap became one of the most popular museum exhibits."

Insecurity Guards

What makes you think you'd make a good bouncer?

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

The Anti-Agent

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

37 years in the same position.

UK border controls relaxed.

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

High security Santa's grotto

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

'Well, you got the dog to protect you against criminals. Perhaps now you'll have to hire a criminal to protect you from the dog.'

"He's a guard dog."

Dog barking at everything except a burglar.

"I see you've security marked your property."

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

Dogs stealing cat food - Vice Squad orders 'Stay!'

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

Privacy Conference Security

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

Moulin Rouge Security

"First the good news - one of us hasn't been made redundant."

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."