Security Line Superstar Pillows

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

TSA Noah

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

"Little Lucas doesn't go anywhere without his weighted blanket."

'The Human Right Act bans ANY cruel or unusual treatment...we may need to rewrite our ENTIRE customer care policy!'

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

Try again - Your password has to include barks, growls, whines and at least one yap.

"You've done it - you've come up with the perfect password."

The Waiter

'Hello, security.'

"Call security - and my cardiologist."

"She barks once for drugs, twice for weapons, and ten times for candy bars."

'Could you take a quick look and see if I lost a filling on the upper left row of teeth?'

I'm not worried about the economy. Me either! It's not like I'm going into banking, car manufacturing, or real estate. Totally! We'll still make the big bucks. May I ask doing what? Movie actress. Rock star. When you move to L.A., I'm not converting your bedroom.

"I like you kid, but you're really just a work in progress!"

"We had our identities stolen, and they took everything!"

'Yes, Fluffy was a great dog and to honor her memory, we've decided to keep her name as part of our computer password.'

"You majored in cyber hacking and institutional sabotage?. . . Hired!"

Stealing digital data from computers.

"I'm getting a new computer, so I'm making sure all my data on this one is erased."

'Give me the name of your first girlfriend, first car, and first pet!'

Your brother's threatening to be a fat cat banker. Barf! I will do something socially useful with my life! That's my girl! When I'm a famous actress, I'll talk forcefully to "Entertainment Tonight" about my vegetarian diet! Maybe we should have had more children. Or non.

"When I asked you of you were ready for this promotion, you flailed uncontrollably. Was that a lie?"

"Still, I'd rather be here than at the office."

'If it weren't for baseball, this whole thing could have ended much differently.'

Beware of the teddy

'Bob installed a lazer security system. He's a little protective of his new car.'

Fabric Company: No tulle left in this vehicle overnight

School children looking at different careers from magazine covers, each involving celebrity status.

America's Funniest Encrypted Passwords

"Beware of owner."