Security Line Superstar T-Shirts

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

TSA Noah

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

"Little Lucas doesn't go anywhere without his weighted blanket."

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'Don't you know who I am?...I've decided to pursue a career as a celebrity, so I'm developing the basic language skills used in the industry.'

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'The Human Right Act bans ANY cruel or unusual treatment...we may need to rewrite our ENTIRE customer care policy!'

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

The Waiter

"You've done it - you've come up with the perfect password."

'Hello, security.'

"Call security - and my cardiologist."

"She barks once for drugs, twice for weapons, and ten times for candy bars."

'Could you take a quick look and see if I lost a filling on the upper left row of teeth?'

"We had our identities stolen, and they took everything!"

"You majored in cyber hacking and institutional sabotage?. . . Hired!"

'Yes, Fluffy was a great dog and to honor her memory, we've decided to keep her name as part of our computer password.'

"I like you kid, but you're really just a work in progress!"

Stealing digital data from computers.

Fabric Company: No tulle left in this vehicle overnight

'If it weren't for baseball, this whole thing could have ended much differently.'

'Give me the name of your first girlfriend, first car, and first pet!'

"When I asked you of you were ready for this promotion, you flailed uncontrollably. Was that a lie?"

"Still, I'd rather be here than at the office."

Beware of the teddy

"I'm getting a new computer, so I'm making sure all my data on this one is erased."

'Bob installed a lazer security system. He's a little protective of his new car.'

School children looking at different careers from magazine covers, each involving celebrity status.

America's Funniest Encrypted Passwords

"Beware of owner."

Warning!! Anti-Climb Paint.