Security Line Comedian T-Shirts

'Could you take a quick look and see if I lost a filling on the upper left row of teeth?'

'I'm not flying anywhere... I'm just here for the pat down search.'

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

Try again - Your password has to include barks, growls, whines and at least one yap.

"Do screen doors just keep insects out, or other things too?"

Munich Security Conference

'Hello, security.'

"She barks once for drugs, twice for weapons, and ten times for candy bars."

'Yes, Fluffy was a great dog and to honor her memory, we've decided to keep her name as part of our computer password.'

"Can you believe we walked right past security?"

Airport security - next step?

Athlete

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"

Beware of the teddy

"No, he's not a security risk ... he just loves the pat-downs."

Fabric Company: No tulle left in this vehicle overnight

'Excuse me,Sir, but me and the rest of the work force think this dress code probably violates OSHA rules.'

'I got a tool to remove malicious malware...'

'I think the only reason my job hasn't been outsourced is because nobody knows what I do around here.'

America's Funniest Encrypted Passwords

"Beware of owner."

"Before you identify the suspect, you need to confirm your identity."

A-1 security from crime....

Motel Check-In. Would you like a wake-up call?

'Security.'

Old style security

Beware of the Dog - Leaping Over Fence

Given his lack of dental insurance, Tony was initially happy with the officer of a federally subsidized cavity search.

Warning!! Anti-Climb Paint.

"The cash is down again. I'm beginning to suspect an inside job."

Computer cables as fire ladder.

Help. Forgot All My Account Passwords.

"Sir, would you mind coming with me?!"

"How long we gotta wear these ridiculous dunce caps...?"