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America's Funniest Encrypted Passwords

Airport Security.

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

"I forgot to turn on the alarm." "It's all right, Peedy is there."

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

Try again - Your password has to include barks, growls, whines and at least one yap.

'Some hackers have broken into the system. It goes in as molten steel, and it comes out as chicken gumbo soup.'

Munich Security Conference

"He's our back-up if our computers fail."

"Do screen doors just keep insects out, or other things too?"

'Hello, security.'

"She barks once for drugs, twice for weapons, and ten times for candy bars."

Jim's Smart Kettle

'Could you take a quick look and see if I lost a filling on the upper left row of teeth?'

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

Psychic TV Guru & Cellular Phone Commercial Spin.

'Let this guy go. He's working under cover.'

"Sorry Brian, bit of a rush this morning - I've left my face in the car."

Airport security - next step?

"Can you believe we walked right past security?"

'Yes, Fluffy was a great dog and to honor her memory, we've decided to keep her name as part of our computer password.'

'Did you Gack this suitcase yourself, sir?'

Athlete

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"

"I tried to rob a bank and failed! I tried to steal an old ladies bag and failed! So why not use as my defense, the old saying, 'You can't blame a person for trying'?"

Beware of the teddy

"No, he's not a security risk ... he just loves the pat-downs."

'It's a great plan, but we'll need a human being to be front man.'

Fabric Company: No tulle left in this vehicle overnight

'Excuse me,Sir, but me and the rest of the work force think this dress code probably violates OSHA rules.'

'I got a tool to remove malicious malware...'

"Beware of owner."

A-1 security from crime....