Security Humor Enthusiast Pillows

"Crap! There's a really big piece of tape!"

Airport Security.

"I'm not sure if we're named after passwords or vice versa."

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

"You are still here."

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

Washroom Doors: Men, Women, Computer Whiz.

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

How to create a password you can remember...

Robot Robber

"What burns my bottom about www.dazoosucks.com is that we capitalized them."

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

B2B.Com Pay Per View.

'We'll have Bubba here check to see if we've idiot-proofed your computer.'

"When they said I'd been replaced by A.I. I'd imagined something more SOPHISTICATED!"

Munich Security Conference

"Do screen doors just keep insects out, or other things too?"

AI Summit

'By putting all our data into code, our competitors can't read it, our unathorized personnel can't read it, and I'm afraid, neither can we.'

"Here's a blues number written about my inability to remember computer passwords."

This is a voice recognition service...we reserve the right to cut you off if you have an irritating nasal sort of voice.

'Hello, security.'

Caveman to wheel inventor: 'Nice invention - how do you boot it up?'

"She barks once for drugs, twice for weapons, and ten times for candy bars."

Technophobes Illustrated Dictionary: Worm Virus - Something horny worms are at greater risk of contracting if they choose to solicit the company of worm-whores without protection.

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

'Stop! That's no way to get data into the cloud.'

STRIP Hambone: Using Tippex on a monitor