Security Guard Humor Pillows

"Sir, would you mind coming with me?!"

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

Beware of Everything

"I forgot to turn on the alarm." "It's all right, Peedy is there."

"Do screen doors just keep insects out, or other things too?"

Munich Security Conference

'Hello, security.'

"She barks once for drugs, twice for weapons, and ten times for candy bars."

"This is a family operation, Ben, and we're evicting you from our family."

'Could you take a quick look and see if I lost a filling on the upper left row of teeth?'

'Pull it over, Speedy.'

Stun-gun target practice.

'Yes, Fluffy was a great dog and to honor her memory, we've decided to keep her name as part of our computer password.'

"Can you believe we walked right past security?"

Airport security - next step?

'I can't tell you what I spent for reasons of national security.'

Fidel Castro as a lifeguard.

Fabric Company: No tulle left in this vehicle overnight

"No, he's not a security risk ... he just loves the pat-downs."

Beware of the teddy

"Sure, playing hot potato is fun until someone pokes an eye out!"

'I think the only reason my job hasn't been outsourced is because nobody knows what I do around here.'

America's Funniest Encrypted Passwords

"Beware of owner."

A-1 security from crime....

'Security.'

Warning!! Anti-Climb Paint.

Beware of the Dog - Leaping Over Fence

"Before you identify the suspect, you need to confirm your identity."

"The cash is down again. I'm beginning to suspect an inside job."

Given his lack of dental insurance, Tony was initially happy with the officer of a federally subsidized cavity search.

'Hold you horses! I'm just getting to the good part!'

"The ice at the rink isn't smooth. I think the maintenance team slipped up."