Safety Officer Humor Pillows

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Another one? Do you realize it will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

Safety Barriers

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

Fire door.

Beware of Everything

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

"I thought he would run all sorts of scientific tests."

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

'Guns Galore Inc' 'Prolong your Life'

"When are you going to learn to put your shield up when you're flying at tree top level?"

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

'As I always say, 'If at first you don't get a passing building inspection report, get mad and tear it up.''

'The most important safety rule to follow when doing anything dangerous is to first find out who can sue you when you get hurt.'

'Coins, when swallowed, cause cancer. Perhaps money should be banned.'

'As a part of a cost-cutting experiment all of our safety measures will be replaced with these good luck charms.'

Health & Safety Official Tester.

Jet Turbine Testing Area

'Pull it over, Speedy.'

Stun-gun target practice.

"Safe? Of course it's safe! I do fireworks every year!"

'I'm bored, what can I do?' 'Go and play with your Junior Bomb Disposal kit.'

Athlete

"What makes you think we have to contact OSHA?"

Living life dangerously 2010.

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

'I baked it especially for you.'

Security at the Smaller Airports

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!"

Another use for retired sumo wrestlers: Roundabout ahead.