Safety Inspector Humorist Pillows

"I thought he would run all sorts of scientific tests."

"Pierre, this is the third time this week you've fallen in."

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Another one? Do you realize it will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

Safety Barriers

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

Fire door.

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

Beware of Everything

'Guns Galore Inc' 'Prolong your Life'

'Call the health inspector! The kitchen has a Brussels sprouts infestation.'

"When are you going to learn to put your shield up when you're flying at tree top level?"

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

'Coins, when swallowed, cause cancer. Perhaps money should be banned.'

'The most important safety rule to follow when doing anything dangerous is to first find out who can sue you when you get hurt.'

'As a part of a cost-cutting experiment all of our safety measures will be replaced with these good luck charms.'

Health & Safety Official Tester.

Jet Turbine Testing Area

"Safe? Of course it's safe! I do fireworks every year!"

"What makes you think we have to contact OSHA?"

'I baked it especially for you.'

Athlete

Security at the Smaller Airports

Another use for retired sumo wrestlers: Roundabout ahead.

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

"And WHATEVER you do DON'T FALL DOWN THE STEPS or put your finger in the ELECTRICITY socket."

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!"

Living life dangerously 2010.

'I'm bored, what can I do?' 'Go and play with your Junior Bomb Disposal kit.'

'No, no, I've gone through all the steps in the procedure and I don't see anything about totally immersing yourself in oil before starting the job!!