Safety Inspector's Friend Pillows

'Dad, the kid who lives here has broken your hammer with his head.'

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Executive ignores wet floor warning and slides down hall

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

"The crash-test rating on this puppy is off the charts!"

'Mind you don't wake the baby.'

"We'll get there when we get there!"

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again.'

Time Out For Teddy

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

Nuclear waste.

Job Safety - Hardhat.

'Business is booming.' - at Uncle Bert's Explosives

'So, how bad is it? Who can bring me up to speed?'

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

"If they can rig emissions tests, why can't they fake crash tests too?"

The hall of bad ideas.

Is this what they call inherent safety?

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

Beware of Everything

Wear a helmet

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

"He says: If they're smart enough to hire a top lawyer and sue us for having wet floors then they're smart enough to look where they're *%&$* going..."

'There's no need for confusion. Part 935 of Mining Regulation 823, Section 323 in Article L clearly states . . . '