Safety Inspector Pillows

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

Banana Warning

'Mind you, I'm not responsible for the entire pipeline ?' just the section that flows through my office.'

'Actually, I don't think any safety program would have caught this one,'

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Think Zero Defects

Work Safety - Ladders.

'Darn safety regulations!'

Man driving forklift is distracted by a pretty co-worker and accidentally runs into another colleague.

'Have you seen that new safety inspector anywhere lately?'

'They hate it when you carry the test tubes that way.'

Unsafe factories in Bangladesh.

How airbags should work.

'No, no, I've gone through all the steps in the procedure and I don't see anything about totally immersing yourself in oil before starting the job!!

'Not cars. here we're testing oblivious texters walking into walls.'

'Caution slippery pyramid' sign on ancient Egyptian pyramids.

'I'm getting some unusually high readings around you.'

'Someone should fix that,'

"The sign ruins our surprise attack, but it's a big OSHA fine if we don't have it."

Health and safety notice for Father Christmas.

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

'We need to invent some kind of health and safety procedure to go with this thing.'

Elf and Safety: 'Have you got a seat belt on that thing?'

'I don't think we should plug it in.'

"The health and safety people are worried about 'stress' and 'work life balance'. Have some ideas on my desk first thing Monday!"

'Hey, did you know these things have brakes?'

Health and Safety

'Remember, before entering, make sure you wipe your feet on the hazmat.'

'Larry, did you replace the cartridges in all the respirators this morning?'

'We're with the Nuclear Regulatory Commission. Got a minute?'

'Oh, that place...? we shut that down AGES ago!'

"Right I've checked everything 6 times. Surely nothing can go wrong this time."

A tanker truck with a warning on the back that reads "The scientific community is divided. Some say this stuff is dangerous, some say it isn't".

'You can't wear that on site!....

Department of Health and Safety: Knock (but not too loudly or you may suffer knuckle bruising) And Enter (Beware of tripping over the fireproof carpet).