Security Fanatic Gifts

Snowman going through airport security

James Bond in a Snow Globe

'Where was the TSA?'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

CCTV in church.

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

Who are the most important people at the World Cup?

"I'm being punished. I have to stay out of Wi-Fi range for an hour."

The Ayatollah Bomb?

Biro Security

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

'I think I set the security level, on my anti virus software, too high. Whenever I access anything it is automatically deleted.'

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

'Don't worry -- the security camera is for your own protection.'

'He's Barack Obama? I thought you said 'he brought a bomb on!''

The prime minister: the current threat to national security...

'Principal McWit, a student without an appointment is here and says he's holding your computer access codes for ransom.'

The ultimate Secret Service demotion. We're sending you to guard Mount Rushmore.

"Hi, I'm the new IT-security-expert! Where is your server room? I want to see if I can overcome your firewall!"

'They take patient privacy so seriously around here they encrypt your name!'

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

"Looks like a tragic accident Chief. Although how he could trip and fall under a road roller beats me."

'Halt! User name and password.'

ACL-To Hell With-U.

Every time I try to warn people about the threat level, they say, surely, you jest.

Beware of dog armed with cloaking device.