Security Fanatics Gifts

"Someone's nicked the radio!"

'Where was the TSA?'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

CCTV in church.

"It says 'beware of robot dog.'"

The Ayatollah Bomb?

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

'I think I set the security level, on my anti virus software, too high. Whenever I access anything it is automatically deleted.'

"What, another live person?! Listen, do you have any computers over there I can speak with?"

Don't look know, but I think you're being Googled.

'Arnold, blow the whole depot, then hightail it out of here.'

'Don't worry -- the security camera is for your own protection.'

The prime minister: the current threat to national security...

'Principal McWit, a student without an appointment is here and says he's holding your computer access codes for ransom.'

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

'They take patient privacy so seriously around here they encrypt your name!'

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

'Halt! User name and password.'

"Your calls may be monitored for training purposes..."

'You're right, good joke, bad timing...'

Beware of dog armed with cloaking device.

ACL-To Hell With-U.

'Dude! Did you even check if that cloak had a flame retardant, before you bought it?'