Security Fanatics Prints

"Someone's nicked the radio!"

'Where was the TSA?'

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

CCTV in church.

"It says 'beware of robot dog.'"

Who are the most important people at the World Cup?

The Ayatollah Bomb?

Biro Security

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

'I think I set the security level, on my anti virus software, too high. Whenever I access anything it is automatically deleted.'

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

'Principal McWit, a student without an appointment is here and says he's holding your computer access codes for ransom.'

'Don't worry -- the security camera is for your own protection.'

'Arnold, blow the whole depot, then hightail it out of here.'

The ultimate Secret Service demotion. We're sending you to guard Mount Rushmore.

'He's Barack Obama? I thought you said 'he brought a bomb on!''

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

Don't look know, but I think you're being Googled.

The prime minister: the current threat to national security...

"What, another live person?! Listen, do you have any computers over there I can speak with?"

'They take patient privacy so seriously around here they encrypt your name!'

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

'Halt! User name and password.'

Beware of dog armed with cloaking device.

"My mom the security expert never trusted me. She'd never tell me her maiden name."

ACL-To Hell With-U.

Every time I try to warn people about the threat level, they say, surely, you jest.

'Stop! That's no way to get data into the cloud.'