Security Aficionado Gifts

Taxicab security.

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

Guarded optimism.

'Intruder on the 8th floor? It's only a seven story building.'

Safer Torah

"Security is lax on this side."

Child-proof safe.

Check-in at the airport.

'Lady, your 'just browsing' is costing me 23 security cameras and 3 floor detectives.'

Forgot My Mother's Maiden Name

'Give it a kick. That usually does it.'

'Can I call you back? I'm expecting someone.'

National Security Agency Library: Who's Who Who's Bugged.

Barack Obama with a listening medal.

"Well, Jenkins, there's the problem! You have it set on 'broil'!"

'He only takes potshots at the international flights.'

"... No, it isn't a spelling mistake."

Security Question-Who was your favorite obedience school teacher?

"For a while I was worried. I was afraid you wouldn't need locks up here."

Locked Bra.

"This is a tough place to work. Pass the pepper spray."

"I've noticed that all the security cameras follow me around."

Remove Belt & Shoes

The new house of worship greeter.

You're letting this security thing go to your head.

"Don't be alarmed, sir. Just a precaution we always take."

Castle Security

"Let me try mine. It's made in China."

"I understand they have some lovely things."

"Harding is very security conscious."

"The password is XJF-dkg-0$2-3#q-qq2..."

"It's asking for your password."

'Well yes, my son is not mean enough...'

'But sir! That's the best granite, no burglar could get through that.'

Barry Tanner decides to take the window seat