It Security Aficionado Gifts

"Hi, I'm the new IT-security-expert! Where is your server room? I want to see if I can overcome your firewall!"

'Where was the TSA?'

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

"On a positive note, he's not our boss. He's the guy who stole our boss's identity."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

A Little Extra

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

"The new computer is great, but we can't get rid of the old one. It knows too much."

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"Get used to verifications. In the court of the internet, you are presumed a robot until proven otherwise."

CCTV in church.

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

Who are the most important people at the World Cup?

'Since PRISM, nothing is 'off the record' any more.'

"This is Alexander. He’ll be heading up our hacking division."

"Are you sure you updated the anti-virus software?"

Biro Security

"Some fine day, my son, all this will be yours."

The Ayatollah Bomb?

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

'It's a foolproof computer network, sir, that no one can break into, not even a kid.'

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

IT security.

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

'Principal McWit, a student without an appointment is here and says he's holding your computer access codes for ransom.'

The prime minister: the current threat to national security...

'He's Barack Obama? I thought you said 'he brought a bomb on!''

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

The ultimate Secret Service demotion. We're sending you to guard Mount Rushmore.