Digital Security Aficionado Gifts

"The new computer is great, but we can't get rid of the old one. It knows too much."

'Where was the TSA?'

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

"Get used to verifications. In the court of the internet, you are presumed a robot until proven otherwise."

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

CCTV in church.

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

The Ayatollah Bomb?

"This is Alexander. He’ll be heading up our hacking division."

"Some fine day, my son, all this will be yours."

"Are you sure you updated the anti-virus software?"

'Since PRISM, nothing is 'off the record' any more.'

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

'It's a foolproof computer network, sir, that no one can break into, not even a kid.'

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

"Tell me when it's all cyber warfare, and I'll enlist!"

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

IT security.

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

"Hi, I'm the new IT-security-expert! Where is your server room? I want to see if I can overcome your firewall!"

The prime minister: the current threat to national security...