Security Camera Nerd Pillows

Mouse security camera.

'Where was the TSA?'

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Elephant ass selfie.

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"The new computer is great, but we can't get rid of the old one. It knows too much."

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

CCTV in church.

The Ayatollah Bomb?

'Since PRISM, nothing is 'off the record' any more.'

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

'Don't worry -- the security camera is for your own protection.'

Adopt your wireless home security system today!

Man trying to take pictures of wild birds at feeder.

The prime minister: the current threat to national security...

'Your father installed a security system.'

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

'Principal McWit, a student without an appointment is here and says he's holding your computer access codes for ransom.'

'They take patient privacy so seriously around here they encrypt your name!'

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

'Halt! User name and password.'

"I just installed a home security monitor."