Security Camera Nerd Pillows

Mouse security camera.

'Where was the TSA?'

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Elephant ass selfie.

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"The new computer is great, but we can't get rid of the old one. It knows too much."

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

CCTV in church.

Who are the most important people at the World Cup?

Biro Security

The Ayatollah Bomb?

'Since PRISM, nothing is 'off the record' any more.'

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

'Your father installed a security system.'

"Okay, what's your next, more expensive security system?"

Man trying to take pictures of wild birds at feeder.

'Principal McWit, a student without an appointment is here and says he's holding your computer access codes for ransom.'

'Don't worry -- the security camera is for your own protection.'

'He's Barack Obama? I thought you said 'he brought a bomb on!''

The ultimate Secret Service demotion. We're sending you to guard Mount Rushmore.

Adopt your wireless home security system today!

The prime minister: the current threat to national security...

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

'They take patient privacy so seriously around here they encrypt your name!'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

'Halt! User name and password.'