Securities Dealer Gifts

Securities for $50 and you want to be sure they won't become worthless by a sharp drop? Well...why don;t you go to buy some stamps, lady?

The day the stock market went UP.

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

The president's men

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

Sales chart is buildings in background.

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"My tariffs will move the world in a new direction!!"

'I'm sorry I missed your recital. Daddy was on the phone with his broker, checking on bond yields. It's another form of bonding, son.'

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

Day trading.

World Economic Crisis.

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

"He's quick with the birds and bees stuff, but then comes the bulls and the bears..."

Why markets crash.

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

'Remember, an economic boom is usually followed by an economic kaboom,'

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.