Secular Adventurers Gifts

"Last night, I challenged your god to a duel. I won by default because he never showed."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

An astronaut fishes in volcanoes on another planet.

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"Home depot."

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

'Oh, crap.'

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'No, really, go ahead. You know me - I'm all about the journey, not the food pellet!'

'You must heal yourself.'

FAQs.

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

Christian and Born again Christian...

"Do you have an appointment?"

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

The Path

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"