Secretive Hunter T-Shirts

'So, Allan, your super-secret hunting site, it wouldn't be down by the nuclear waste dump, would it?'

Crab with a clown face.

New York Netherworld

'It's Dick Cheney's biography.'

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

'Let us take a few moments to release the stress from our bodies. In your case it may take a few decades.'

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

The World's best Camouflage Store.

'I knew I needed help when I started going to fast food places only at night so I wouldn't have to share with sea gulls.'

"Safe FDIC insured, guaranteed 2.65% APY...check out our new Emotional Support CDs."

"And, of course, if I were to get the job and start feeling comfortable here I'd no longer need the security blanket."

'Psst, buddy -- Apocrypha!'

Yoga.

'No, even I don't know the secret of golf.'

'I see you worked in government research - what kind?'

'I don't need your love. I need a 401 (k) and health insurance.'

Spying

"A ninja is silent as darkness, so-tippy-toes, people, tippy-toes!"

"They were all in undisclosed locations."

"It's no use. I came here to get away from it all."

'Remember when your identity was stolen? I just bought it back on eBay.'

"That? - oh my husband - a closet bricklayer."

'We'd like to visit a peaceful police state away from any terror treats.'

Two men trout fishing

"I forgot my password, so I created a new one. Then, I forgot that one, so I created a new one. Maybe you were right. I should write them down."

'That's our quilt edged investments sorted.'

Ninja Rule no#1: never wear corduroy.

Magic's Greatest Secret Revealed.

'My wife has me on a very strict diet so I need a safe place to store my binge foods.'

'I can't even remember what I had for breakfast. How do you expect me to remember another bloody password!?'

Books: Very Subtle, Just a Little Subtle, and Not At All Subtle.