Secretary's Day Gifts

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

A man carries a huge bouquet of flowers.

Busy Secretary.

'Now read that back to me.'

"Phyllis, this isn�t my laptop..."

'Scrub that last paragraph...'.

'Miss Hartley, implement me a coffee and a cheese danish.'

Your job...is to make sure nothing ever gets to this desk

'Miss Spinks? Could you bring me my bow of burnished gold? - Oh, and my chariot of fire....?'

'Miss Chambers, requisition me some more clout.'

'I feel good this morning.' - 'Don't worry, you'll soon get over it.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

"Staff support"

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'That's our mission statement.'

Copycats

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'