Secretarial Gifts

"Maxwell, you idiot! You mailed copies of your last letter to our entire contact list."

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

'Let's not go by the book.'

Copycats

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Out and In.

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

37 years in the same position.

Storm in the out tray

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

Here and There Trays

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

Quality Control

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

"Morning, all!"

Someone who knows apostrophes

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

Man at desk with two in-trays reading 'urgent' and 'too late'.

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'Today is the tomorrow I feared yesterday. . .'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'