Secret Rendezvous Planner T-Shirts

'My wife would never hunt us down here!'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Are we going for suntan, personal development or being the envy of our friends on Instagram?"

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"Can you change this quiz grade from an A to a C? I like to keep expectations low until I blow my parents' mind by acing the final exam."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

"Just remember if we don't enjoy it we can claim it as a tax-deductible business meeting..."

"We have a song, but neither of us can remember it."

Planned service changes

"She said 'let's go for a walk in the park'. It turned into a quagmire."

'Where Are They Now?'

Man proposes holding a balloon.

'People are staring at us because they've never seen private box seats at an off broadway theatre before.'

"Gee, Dave, a proposal to balance the budget wasn't really what I was expecting."

'Yes, It's in that direction.'

People told me virtual dating was safe!

"You're up."

"Oh, Gary, they're beautiful!"

'I don't like to complain, Evelyn, but aren't these family reunions getting out of hand?'

'Look - forget I asked if you were free any evenings...'

"I think I prefer a hot Italian sun on my back and a hot Italian hand on my backside..."

"Psst. Pass it on. Tonight's the break!..."

"But. . . You always wanted a cat! Okay, maybe I shouldn't have packed your present five months ago. . ."

'I couldn't run away with you. I feel I would be depriving a village of its idiot!'

"Here is a folder with your itinerary, visas and pre-paid coupons for your four-star hotel nests along the way: happy migration!"

'That was a good idea of yours to make ourselves scarce, the price of honey is going through the roof. I am going to cash in and get myself a nice little hive in Ibiza.'

Returning tourism

"We look so happy. Do we really want to destroy that by traveling through Europe together?"

'Yes, a two centre holiday sounds good to me. I'll go to Paris, where do you fancy?'

'That's your Uncle Joe. He's the black sheet of the family.'

'Nah. They're not interesting until the 200th year.'

"We want a good selection of hotels restaurants and activities...but no tourists!"

'Burl's on a diet. . . his high school class reunion is this Friday.'

'Well, if it isn't Harry Roberts. You've hardly changed since we were at school together!'

"...but if it's a business trip why are you taking your fly pole?"