Secret Identity Ponderer T-Shirts

"Peter Parker is Spiderman! Clark Kent is Superman!! Bruce Wayne is Batman!"

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

Glasses on, Crazy Cowman's secret identity was safe

Buck Naked

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

'This is the age of specialisation - you can't be a hunter AND a gatherer.'

Psychiatry ward with 'Inhibited' and 'Outgoing' trays.

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

Desert Island Surveillance.

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

Dr. McPhee discovers the Embarrassment Particle.

"It started as an out-of body experience but I forgot the password to get back in."

'My Goodness! All these years George and I never guessed you were a superhero.'

As Lucanus, a giant bug, awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed into Franz Kafka.

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

'Nobody's even TRIED to steal my identity!'

I just don't identify as a bald eagle

"It's a memoir about multiple personality disorder, so it was written in first, second and third person narrative."

"Have you ever noticed that all our teachers fit the FBI's terrorist profile?"

'Want me to share your reading on your social media?'

'I know if you've been bad or good thanks to surveillance cameras in last year's toys.'

Smart Watches Track Our Every Thought

"This is the Genius Phone, sir, an upgrade of the mart phone. It automotacially reads every thought in your head and then transmits them to the whole world."

"I don't think they'll ever find out who 'Housefly Man' is. Now, let's eat."

I Was Married to Banksy.

'What do you mean... You sent the rest of the uniform to the dry cleaners?'

'Do you ever get the feeling that these so called 'stick people' have stolen our identity?'

Valerie thrived in an internet community that had no idea she was a chicken...

"dzKyivcy5n2#ijwx9uc!"

Bird Watching

'How do they tell boy hurricanes from girl hurricanes?'