Secret Identity Ponderer Gifts

"I swear, if one more person tells me I'm only as sick as my secrets, I just may deck him!"

"Peter Parker is Spiderman! Clark Kent is Superman!! Bruce Wayne is Batman!"

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

Glasses on, Crazy Cowman's secret identity was safe

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

Buck Naked

'This is the age of specialisation - you can't be a hunter AND a gatherer.'

Psychiatry ward with 'Inhibited' and 'Outgoing' trays.

"No one knows his identity. He just turns up, cuts your grass, then departs without leaving his name. They call him the Lawn Ranger."

Desert Island Surveillance.

Dr. McPhee discovers the Embarrassment Particle.

Secret Identity Theft.

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

"The best advice I can give you is: 'Be Yourself.'"

'My Goodness! All these years George and I never guessed you were a superhero.'

"It started as an out-of body experience but I forgot the password to get back in."

Psychiatry. Whenever I go on an ego trip, my superego won't let me have any fun.

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians: Part Two

As Lucanus, a giant bug, awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed into Franz Kafka.

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

"Have you ever noticed that all our teachers fit the FBI's terrorist profile?"

'Want me to share your reading on your social media?'

"It's a memoir about multiple personality disorder, so it was written in first, second and third person narrative."

'Nobody's even TRIED to steal my identity!'

I just don't identify as a bald eagle

'I know if you've been bad or good thanks to surveillance cameras in last year's toys.'

Smart Watches Track Our Every Thought

"This is the Genius Phone, sir, an upgrade of the mart phone. It automotacially reads every thought in your head and then transmits them to the whole world."

'Do you ever get the feeling that these so called 'stick people' have stolen our identity?'

'What do you mean... You sent the rest of the uniform to the dry cleaners?'

I Was Married to Banksy.

"I don't think they'll ever find out who 'Housefly Man' is. Now, let's eat."

Valerie thrived in an internet community that had no idea she was a chicken...

'I know where you live!'

'I just love coming to the park and watching the birds.'