Identity Issues Ponderer Gifts

'Nobody's even TRIED to steal my identity!'

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

I've Always Wanted to Be Oppressed By Someone Who Looks Like Me

The Price of Freedom

"Nice haircut."

"If anything else, it beats bending over!"

City Zoo. They call us "anteaters" --- talk about stereotyping!

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

'This is the age of specialisation - you can't be a hunter AND a gatherer.'

Psychiatry ward with 'Inhibited' and 'Outgoing' trays.

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

Corruption trial in the Vatican

Surgical Self-Service

30% Heredity, 70% Environment

Biblical Jewish Medical Ethics

"I may have waffled, but I never lip-synched."

Johnny and Moloch

William Shakespeare Civil Court Judge. Well, you can legally change your name, but it won't make any real difference, Rose.

"I am very comfortable with my bovinity."

"What's your question for 'Ask Sadie'?" "My mom's in a nursing home. I think someone's stealing her jewelry." "What's the matter, you're afraid someone is stealing your inheritance?" "Simple solution: Send your mother to Japan, where their entire culture reveres the elderly." "Sayonara, grandma!!!" "Are you sure that's not just a stereotype?" "Who cares?!"

'Don't tell me this nonsense doesn't violate the code of bioethics.'

'Do everything ethically ... within reason, of course.'

"The best advice I can give you is: 'Be Yourself.'"

Cybervegan Caf

Condi Rice for President

'I kept wondering for years...am I red with white stripes or white with red stripes? I became so mixed up. Now, look at me.'

"Hey, Gary? As a general rule we don't play God up here."

'I've got a question. If your answer is 'Yes', I'll hate you. If your answer is 'No', I'll hate you, too. The question is, do you think I need a new dress because I'm looking fat in this one?'

Well at least we can handle these rocks.

'Are you having this identity crisis because you current identity sucks?'

As Lucanus, a giant bug, awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed into Franz Kafka.

Psychiatry. Whenever I go on an ego trip, my superego won't let me have any fun.