Secondhand Shop Worker Pillows

'This one belonged to a little old lady with weak eyes.'

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

That's supposed to say garage sale!

It's great for pulling the birds!

Crap others threw out

"Secondhand books, reheated coffee"

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

Garage Sale (sign originally read 'Garbage' sale).

How much would you take off for cash?

'You did want him wrapped, didn't you?'

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

'You've agreed to work Sundays, haven't you!'

'I think they make my feet look too small.'

'For Sale Used Only Once.'

"Forty years in this business and you suddenly decide you don't like gimmicky?"

Yard Sale: Like-New Kitchen Gadgets

Only used once

"No the you shop noise doesn't bother me. This protects me from the incessant Christmas music."

"You got the chip shop gig, then?"

'I just asked if you were finding everything alright. I never said I worked here.'

Garage Sales Anonymous

Vintage Shop: Used puppets for sale - no strings attached.

Abuse or harassment of staff will not be tolerated

Customer: 'Do you have anything for the same price that doesn't cost so much?'

"Do you have anything new. . ?"

Idiot! I told you there'd be a catch to buying a tank on eBay

'Do you have this in a smaller size?' - 'Is she nuts! She's way too big for that size. She'll destroy it if she tries it on...but if I don't answer her soon she'll destroy me...'

All-you-can-wear.

'The management of this shop take the threat of swine flu in their stride.'

'We're all out of the (bar code) but can I interest you in the (different bar code)?'

"This vinegar's got lumps in it."

Horse selling second hand shoes as lucky charms.

"My sick friend owns a second-hand store...got any used get well cards in good condition?"