Secondhand Shop Worker Gifts

'This one belonged to a little old lady with weak eyes.'

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

That's supposed to say garage sale!

It's great for pulling the birds!

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale

"Secondhand books, reheated coffee"

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

'I think they make my feet look too small.'

'You've agreed to work Sundays, haven't you!'

'You did want him wrapped, didn't you?'

Garage Sale (sign originally read 'Garbage' sale).

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

How much would you take off for cash?

'For Sale Used Only Once.'

'I just asked if you were finding everything alright. I never said I worked here.'

"No the you shop noise doesn't bother me. This protects me from the incessant Christmas music."

Yard Sale: Like-New Kitchen Gadgets

Garage Sales Anonymous

"Forty years in this business and you suddenly decide you don't like gimmicky?"

Only used once

Vintage Shop: Used puppets for sale - no strings attached.

Abuse or harassment of staff will not be tolerated

Customer: 'Do you have anything for the same price that doesn't cost so much?'

'The management of this shop take the threat of swine flu in their stride.'

"Do you have anything new. . ?"

"What makes you think you can patronize me?"

'Why on earth did you ask the customer if there was anything else you could do for him??!'

'We're all out of the (bar code) but can I interest you in the (different bar code)?'

"This vinegar's got lumps in it."

Horse selling second hand shoes as lucky charms.

'Do you have this in a smaller size?' - 'Is she nuts! She's way too big for that size. She'll destroy it if she tries it on...but if I don't answer her soon she'll destroy me...'

All-you-can-wear.

Yard sale - Lots of pre-antiques.