Second Cousin Gifts

'Your second cousin won a Nobel Prize in physics, and you don't know how gravity works?'

Whistler's Irritating Second Cousin.

"This is your second cousin Adalberto. He was a soccer player until he was kciked in the head and got a conclusion."

"This is your second cousin Armando. He was an artist."

"Baldo, this is your second cousin Magdalena."

"Tia Carmen, your telenovelas are so crazy."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Larry's used art

Glastonbury. After.

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Skipping Horse

Computer Room.

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

I will study my speling words...

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"