Second Chance Seeker T-Shirts

Second marriage vows.

"I'm not happy with the Judgement Day result - I'd like a re-mark."

Field of Broken Dreams

'I've decided to take a mulligan and start my life over!'

'Do you realize by the time you get out the kids will all be full-grown?!'

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

"Tell Mrs. Pomeroy we've found the source of that strange hint of musk."

Like lambs to the slaughter, my ass.

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

Sweet surprise.

'Are we there yet, I love surprises.'

WHACK!

Cupcake jumps out of cake.

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

"I thought you were getting me a dog?"

Election slot machine. No matter the outcome, I always lose money.

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

Tree Squirrel

'They were going to get married when they were young, but he kept forgetting the wedding date!'

'It's my latest novel, 'Hard Times' part 2.'

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

'Your test results are in, and you're FULL of surprises!'

'So this is what you do while I'm away,'

"The back flip was a nice touch."

"No way! You're a telemarketer?! This is so great – hold on, I want to get comfortable ... how did you get my number?"

'How's the egg?' '.Turtle crawls out'

"In all of Montana, you’ll not find a more sublime flyfisher than Mittens."

"Mr. Caldwell comes to us from a minimum-security correctional facility in Pennsylvania."

'Get the net ready, Fred. I think I hooked a big one this time.'

Man finds a python in his breakfast egg

Jack-in-the-time capsule.