Seasoning Savant Gifts

God's Seasonings

"I come here for the pepper."

'Table 17 wants his salmon seasoned only with sea salt - from the Pacific; between 25 and 30 degrees south latitude.'

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

"The reason my salt is so expensive is because it's preservative-free."

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

"Finally a perfume store my husband will enjoy visiting."

Just a little seasoning...

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."

"No offense, but the manna needs salt."

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

"Ah — excellent catsup."

'Just bring a few hundred sausages, plenty of wine and of course your barbeque.'

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

TV Producers Workshop. The first goal of a series to avoid cancellation long enough to issue a DVD set. Get boxed before you get canned!

"Who is having the 4 bean salad? Half portion?"

'You're eating too much roughage.'

"Remember, son, you can be anything you want to be...except for maybe an aroma therapist."

'I tell you what: Thank goodness for tomato sauce...'

Old pumpkin spice

"Young man, don't you ever add pepper to my soup again!"

'Mary, you must give me your stuffing recipe.'

'Joeys rarely hae geoducks.'

'I'm sorry, I can't reveal my sauce.'

Last Will and Testament: Salt, Pepper, Tarragon, Garlic.

"Chef keeps the secrets of his sauces close to his chest"

A vampire using ground pepper on his new victim.

"Waiter, there's a fly in my trout!"

Cattle barons for world domination.

"And I recommend to not get sauced."

'Ketchup? You know that's an insult to the chef, right?'