Seasoning Savant T-Shirts

"I come here for the pepper."

'Table 17 wants his salmon seasoned only with sea salt - from the Pacific; between 25 and 30 degrees south latitude.'

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

"The reason my salt is so expensive is because it's preservative-free."

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

What are you in the mood to get confused watching tonight?

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

"Finally a perfume store my husband will enjoy visiting."

Just a little seasoning...

Mrs. Robot attempts to improve her family's diet.

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."

"No offense, but the manna needs salt."

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

"Ah — excellent catsup."

'You're eating too much roughage.'

'No - we really don't cater for vegans, even our salad dressing is made from sperm oil!'

"Remember, son, you can be anything you want to be...except for maybe an aroma therapist."

'I tell you what: Thank goodness for tomato sauce...'

'Just bring a few hundred sausages, plenty of wine and of course your barbeque.'

"Who is having the 4 bean salad? Half portion?"

Old pumpkin spice

'Joeys rarely hae geoducks.'

Last Will and Testament: Salt, Pepper, Tarragon, Garlic.

'I'm sorry, I can't reveal my sauce.'

'Mary, you must give me your stuffing recipe.'

"Young man, don't you ever add pepper to my soup again!"

"Chef keeps the secrets of his sauces close to his chest"

A vampire using ground pepper on his new victim.

"Waiter, there's a fly in my trout!"

'Ketchup? You know that's an insult to the chef, right?'

"And I recommend to not get sauced."

"Set phazers to medium rare!"

"Okay. Two Buffalo Burgers comin' right up"

Cattle barons for world domination.