Seasoning Wizard T-Shirts

"You may think these things are harmless...but in inexperienced hands, my spices can mess you up!"

The Vineyard

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

'Needs salt!'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"I come here for the pepper."

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

“Our numbers grow greater and greater. Soon the era of the spices will be at hand”

Just a little seasoning...

'Beer brewery? No, I wanted the witches brew! Damn GPS.'

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

Portfolio, 2011

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'Needs more kale.'

"No offense, but the manna needs salt."

The virtual wine tasting was a big success

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

'Of course it's high in protein. Just look at this!'

"And that is how you handle liver!"

'A tiny kitchen, one cook, and great food...I don't know how they do it.'

"Don't hold back on the toad legs now - I'm through with Nouvelle Cuisine!"

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

'Memorable miracles' from 'burning bush' to 'low cal ice cream'

Television company new recruit