Seasonal Traditions Pillows

school kids playing conkers

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Happy Easter

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

Crowded Ice Fishing

"I admire your enthusiasm, but you’re not really flying."

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

'It's baseball season!'

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

"Did you check the little patch of grass by the swing set?"

Ice Skater

Glyndebourne

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

"I noticed a few browns."

"Is his nose locally grown?"

"That's ridiculous. A red nose wouldn't work as a GPS system."

'I'm dreaming of a green Christmas, with every recycled Christmas card I write...'

Old Joe the gardener was begining to regret the fact he'd bought last year's pumpkin seeds on Halloween!

"Any squirrels?" "Nope... two rabbits, a chipmunk, and a little girl picking her nose."

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."