Seasonal Traditions Gifts

'Well, that's it. Wintah is fianlly ovah!. . . Truck Day at Fenway...the Red Sox head out fah spring trainin', which means this the fahst day of spring.'

school kids playing conkers

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Don't forget the hosepipe ban!

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

Happy Easter

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

Crowded Ice Fishing

'It's baseball season!'

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

"I admire your enthusiasm, but you’re not really flying."

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

Ice Skater

'Screen saver. . . or did his computer freeze again?'

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

"Did you check the little patch of grass by the swing set?"

Glyndebourne

"Any squirrels?" "Nope... two rabbits, a chipmunk, and a little girl picking her nose."

Old Joe the gardener was begining to regret the fact he'd bought last year's pumpkin seeds on Halloween!

'I'm dreaming of a green Christmas, with every recycled Christmas card I write...'

"Is his nose locally grown?"

"That's ridiculous. A red nose wouldn't work as a GPS system."

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."