Seasonal Sower Gifts

Top Dressing

"The rolling wheels...the ringing bells...signal the deliciousness of summer."

"Mom, no raking for me this fall! Got any more leaf bags?"

Planting by the Moon.

Easter Egg Delivery

Man standing in front of giant snowball

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

"I might let the window box lay fallow, this season."

Holiday Overkill.

'I'd like to spend November and December in a nice vegetarian country!'

"I realize you want the leaves to finally fall, but I doubt shaking the tree is going to work."

Who's ready for pumpkin spice season?

Christmas Group Therapy.

Autumn equinox - plant bulbs for spring equinox

"Check out this app. It let's you substitute other vegetables for your nose."

"You can use Dave's cubicle. He has Seasonal Affective Disorder and won't be using it this winter. Whoa! I guess I'm wrong. There he is, hibernating under the desk!"

'I know botanists are important dear, but I wish I could tell people you had a proper job!'

"I was going to mow the lawn, but I pulled three muscles trying to start the mower. It's been a long winter."

'This is where my dad goes to seed.'

Writer's Plough

Winter depression.

Santa ringing bell with sign "Give now and avoid the holiday rush."

"Mr De Winter, please! How am I supposed to portrait you if you keep doing this?"

"Fall back...spring ahead."

Leaf falling in the desert

Garden Supplies Special sale

Melting snowman tries to hitch a ride north.

We have shade trees sign in window of garden supply. We have rakes in window of hardware store.

"I've replanted the hanging basket with flowers that'll survive the coming winter. . .They're plastic."

'Now that it's March, it's safe to put the snow shovels away, right?'

"Of course, it doesn't pay as much as during the season."

Pollen Allergies

I gain weight every fall and then lose it in the spring. I have a seasonally adjusted figure.

Time for my Ode-to-Spring poem. Roses grow red, mountains look pewter. I want you more ... than a wi-fi six router. My heart remains frozen.

"Quick! It's the 45 minutes a year when tomatoes taste incredible!"