Seasonal Psychiatrist Pillows

This time of year always gets me down."

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

"No, Doris, not implants!"

"I love November - the crunch of leaves underfoot... the crisp air... the holiday markets..." "... it getting dark by mid-afternoon..." "Okay, that's less enjoyable."

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

"We're freaky February hares, the mad march ones have vanished due to global warming."

Easter Egg Delivery

'Actually, I was thinking more in terms of a temporary position.'

"I love this time of year."

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

'It's a snow mobile.'

"Damn Pope Gregory and his new calendar."

"If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#&% arm."

A poem: With daylight's shift, winter draws near...

"Oh, as long as he needs you, Santa's a great guy. But once things slow down and he wants a little vacation time with Mrs. C., it's 'goodbye North Pole, hello crappy temp job!'"

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

Snooze Alarm for Mole.

'Since you only work one night a year, it will take centuries to build up your retirement account.'

'Relax, it's purely a seasonally affected disorder.'

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

"I'll see your two and raise you three."

"Santa's elves have to eat, you know."

"Take a shower first. You smell like a chimney."

"Did no one tell you that at this time of year everybody flies south?"

"How can I word this Christmas card to my boss without wishing him a merry Christmas?"

'I love crocuses. They seem to defy the winter snow to let you know spring is coming.'

Christmas Socks

'I'm looking for something, like, 364 days a year.'

'So is this your lazy days of summer, or are we still working on spring?'

"Finally! An iconic advertising image that represents Christmas, Valentine's Day and Easter!"