Seasonal Psychiatrist Gifts

This time of year always gets me down."

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

"No, Doris, not implants!"

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

"I love November - the crunch of leaves underfoot... the crisp air... the holiday markets..." "... it getting dark by mid-afternoon..." "Okay, that's less enjoyable."

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

"We're freaky February hares, the mad march ones have vanished due to global warming."

Easter Egg Delivery

'Actually, I was thinking more in terms of a temporary position.'

"I love this time of year."

"Damn Pope Gregory and his new calendar."

"If you want to play fetch with the dog, throw your own @#&% arm."

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

"Oh, as long as he needs you, Santa's a great guy. But once things slow down and he wants a little vacation time with Mrs. C., it's 'goodbye North Pole, hello crappy temp job!'"

'It's a snow mobile.'

A poem: With daylight's shift, winter draws near...

Snooze Alarm for Mole.

'Since you only work one night a year, it will take centuries to build up your retirement account.'

'Relax, it's purely a seasonally affected disorder.'

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

"Santa's elves have to eat, you know."

"I'll see your two and raise you three."

"Did no one tell you that at this time of year everybody flies south?"

Contradictory Phil

"Take a shower first. You smell like a chimney."

'So is this your lazy days of summer, or are we still working on spring?'

Santa's Second Stringers.

"Look, at the colors of my m&ms. Amber, russet, scarlett. . . it must be Fall."

Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen in: Changing Seasons. Does life affirm with coming fall? Leaved hit the ground, men huddle. Smashing each other over a ball. Wrestling around in a puddle. Huh? In this potpourri of hulky sights, one image is hardly the least, sir. So many changes, so many nights ... to see Eli Manning's keister. The bard of NY Giants football. Beautiful. Disgusting.

"How can I word this Christmas card to my boss without wishing him a merry Christmas?"

Christmas Socks

'I love crocuses. They seem to defy the winter snow to let you know spring is coming.'

'I'm looking for something, like, 364 days a year.'