Seasonal Humor Collector Gifts

'Bless You!' (snowman kills another snowman with a 'dagger' carrot).

"Sorry Ma'am, but lamb delivery is only available in Spring..."

Leaf Firemen Catching Falling Leaf.

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

'Bert's dog training.'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"Little help?"

Cake Free Zone

A 'Falling Rock' and a 'Deer Crossing' zone.

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

"Eat me"

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

A watch face with Stonehenge

"Fantastic! Do you realize what we've just stumbled upon? It's the fabled Lost Glove Compartment of the Ancient Astronauts!"

Easter Island Shades...

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

"No, Doris, not implants!"

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

Man falls in water Title: 'Willis was always an overachiever.'

Whatís that, boy? Youíre too tired for a walk and you just want to watch TV?

"I love November - the crunch of leaves underfoot... the crisp air... the holiday markets..." "... it getting dark by mid-afternoon..." "Okay, that's less enjoyable."

Vanna White: The Later Years.

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

Clown to clown on unicycle: 'How does it corner?'