Festive Humor Collectors Gifts

"Sure I know what comes twelve days after Christmas. The bills."

Tourists and their Pets.

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

"Guide to physical comedy fish"

'Maybe there is something in all this global warming stuff.'

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

"Come on. Why not just try dog hot dogs for a change?"

'I get that reaction a lot.'

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

The Heating Oil Problem.

'Oh yeah? Well I'm not crazy about your humming, either!'

'The urge to spawn comes from the desire to hear the pitter-patter of tiny fins.'

"Identity theft hotline? Yes, it's Dracula again. Millions of people are still stealing my identity on Halloween."

'Relax, he is just playing fetch the stick with the kids.'

'In future a reg number will suffice, ok.'

"Sorry Ma'am, but lamb delivery is only available in Spring..."

Why clown agents shoul never hide in the WC

Witless protection prgram

"Sorry I'm late. We were delayed when Rudolph caught a drone in his antlers."

Dinosaur Pet Stores

"Can you fit him with remote control facilities, doctor"

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

"I only live for 24 hours, so I need a temp job that pays big bugs."

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

The First Black Friday

"You've got a fairy light at the back."

Santa incorporates therapy into his repertoire.