Festive Humor Collectors Gifts

"Sure I know what comes twelve days after Christmas. The bills."

Hollywood Sign Developers

Tourists and their Pets.

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

"And my client will be seeking significant damages for being mistakenly placed in the naughty column!"

"Guide to physical comedy fish"

'Maybe there is something in all this global warming stuff.'

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

"We don't use good and bad lists anymore. Now we have stupid, really stupid and completely nuts lists."

"Come on. Why not just try dog hot dogs for a change?"

'I get that reaction a lot.'

Merry Sisyphus - Christmas pudding being pushed up a mountain.

'Oh yeah? Well I'm not crazy about your humming, either!'

"Identity theft hotline? Yes, it's Dracula again. Millions of people are still stealing my identity on Halloween."

The Heating Oil Problem.

'The urge to spawn comes from the desire to hear the pitter-patter of tiny fins.'

'Relax, he is just playing fetch the stick with the kids.'

'In future a reg number will suffice, ok.'

"Sorry Ma'am, but lamb delivery is only available in Spring..."

"Sorry I'm late. We were delayed when Rudolph caught a drone in his antlers."

Why clown agents shoul never hide in the WC

"Doesn't it seem like we just finished letting the air out of last year's tree?"

Witless protection prgram

"I only live for 24 hours, so I need a temp job that pays big bugs."

Yard Sale. It could be we're pillaging too much.

"Can you fit him with remote control facilities, doctor"

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

Yep, that's me in a pea pod! In a pea pod�?? I think "nutshell" has been vastly overused.

Dinosaur Pet Stores

The First Black Friday

"You've got a fairy light at the back."

Santa incorporates therapy into his repertoire.