Holiday Humor Collector Gifts

The First Black Friday

'Been Away?'

2017 hands a new crisis to 2018

"Ok, George ... now you've ruined Christmas."

"Identity theft hotline? Yes, it's Dracula again. Millions of people are still stealing my identity on Halloween."

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

Elfie Stick

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

Tourists and their Pets.

Try me/try me/try me...

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"I always forget how much louder they sound in the country."

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

'Dang, again we're going so fast that we caused a disruption in the time-space continuum.'

"I think I preferred it before he became an equal-opportunity employer."

"I could get used to working remotely."

How to spot the infrequent Mass attendees.

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

Father Christmas Painting Robins.

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

'He's got your nose.'

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

Santa's Helpers

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

Christmas on Other Planets.

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."