Holiday Humor Collector Gifts

The First Black Friday

'Been Away?'

2017 hands a new crisis to 2018

"Ok, George ... now you've ruined Christmas."

"Identity theft hotline? Yes, it's Dracula again. Millions of people are still stealing my identity on Halloween."

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

Elfie Stick

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

Tourists and their Pets.

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

Try me/try me/try me...

"I always forget how much louder they sound in the country."

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

'Dang, again we're going so fast that we caused a disruption in the time-space continuum.'

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

"I think I preferred it before he became an equal-opportunity employer."

"I could get used to working remotely."

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

'He's got your nose.'

Father Christmas Painting Robins.

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

Santa's Helpers

You Will Have a Merry Christmas. . . Resistance is Futile.

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

'I've prepared a self-evaluation which you can refer to when you do my annual review.'

"These are my little helpers - social worker,child psychology, risk assessment,health and safety, paramedic and compo for kids."