Seasonal Comedy Fans Pillows

'If you give me your email address, I'll put you on my mailing list.'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

"That'll be five bucks."

"Little help?"

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Two fishermen land on stumps. Man says to other, 'Is that enough structure for ya?!'

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

Technique #54 airlines are adopting for handling excessive carry on luggage.

Standard & Poor

"You want to know why I drink?. . . I drink to forget!"

"Friends have been scribbling on my cast."

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

"Beer? I see you taught Roscoe to fetch?"

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'

Yakety-Yak

"Those are the lyrics? How embarrassing—I've been singing it wrong this whole time."

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

"Donner and Blitzen are just our stage names."

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

'According to this, you ate all the pies.'

'An this good luck charm is to commemorate when our turtle ran away. He's the one who took Jim's pinkie.'

'Let's face it George: we're not spring chickens anymore...'

'Summer's over and it's time to fall in!'

'Your car's ready, but drive carefully for awhile. I had to give the student an 'F' for the work he did on it.'

'More toys! The way you kids spend, you must think bananas grow on trees.'

'The penguin is upset...'